IFS: A Compassionate Approach to Healing
What is IFS?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a powerful, evidence-based model of psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. It is built on the idea that the mind is naturally made up of multiple “parts,” each with its own voice, perspective, and purpose — kind of like an internal family.
Rather than seeing these inner voices as a problem, IFS views them as normal and valuable aspects of our inner world, each trying to protect us or help us in some way. Sometimes, because of difficult life experiences, these parts can take on extreme roles to try to protect us (think: drinking to numb out, or perfectionism to stay ahead). Though well-intended, we often need to get to know these protective or distressed parts so that we can help re-direct their efforts and create more harmony and groundedness in our internal system.
Why is IFS Effective?
1. It Helps Clients Understand Themselves Deeply
IFS provides a non-pathologizing language to explore the complexity of human experience. Instead of saying, “Why am I so anxious?” clients begin to ask, “What part of me feels anxious, and why?” This creates space for self-inquiry and curiosity rather than shame.
2. It Builds Compassion Toward the Self
IFS introduces the concept of the Self — the calm, compassionate, wise center within each of us. Through IFS, clients learn how to lead their internal system from this Self-energy, rather than being overwhelmed or hijacked by reactive parts.
3. It Addresses Root Causes, Not Just Symptoms
Rather than just managing anxiety, depression, or trauma responses, IFS helps clients understand and heal the parts of themselves that carry painful burdens often originating from childhood or past trauma.
4. It Works Well with a Range of Issues
IFS has been shown to be effective for:
Complex trauma (C-PTSD)
Anxiety and depression
Eating disorders
Relationship struggles
Perfectionism, inner critics, people-pleasing, and more
It’s a versatile model that adapts to what the client brings, from deep trauma work to day-to-day stressors.
How Is IFS Used in Therapy Sessions?
Here’s what working with IFS in therapy might look like:
1. Identifying Parts
The therapist helps the client tune into different parts of themselves — for example, a part that’s angry, a part that shuts down, or a part that always tries to please others. We engage with these parts by checking in with our bodies, by listening to our thoughts, considering our urges and reactions, and more.
2. Unblending
Clients learn to separate or “unblend” from intense emotions so they can observe their parts with curiosity instead of being overwhelmed by them. This makes more space for leading from Self rather than the part or parts that tend to be more reactive.
3. Connecting with the Self
The goal is to help the client access their Self: that calm, compassionate presence that can relate to parts without judgment.
4. Listening to Parts
Parts are invited to share their stories and they often reveal protective roles, fears, and past wounds they carry.
5. Healing Burdened Parts
Through witnessing and compassion, clients help their wounded or burdened parts release pain, shame, or limiting beliefs, which allows the system to rebalance naturally.
6. Integration
As parts heal, they often transform into healthier roles — such as a former inner critic becoming a helpful motivator or a once-anxious part becoming a calm planner.
The Bottom Line
IFS gives therapists a flexible and respectful framework for working with clients of all backgrounds, helping them make deep, lasting change.
IFS is not about getting rid of parts. It’s about helping them feel safe, seen, and supported so they can let go of extreme roles. When this happens, clients often experience greater emotional clarity, resilience, and inner harmony.
